The Lawn Mower Tattoo
Well, a picture says a thousand words, ladies and gentlemen, the ink lawn mower. This is by far of of the cleverest tattoo's I have have seen. Now you might think own one of these is outside you grasp, but your wrong. You can get a tattoo pretty cheaply these days, especially a small stick figure and it will last a life time. The only maintenance that you need to is shave the 'path' of the lawn mower to get it looking good. And this one is not just for the girls, in fact, the more hair you have the better.
Ok, a tattoo might not be for you, but I am sure you have a friend, lover, wife, husband, work mate, enemy, family member, gullible postman etc that you can convince. But how do you go about it?
- Stubbornness - Just don't take no for an answer:
- You: "You should get a little lawn mower man tattoo."
- Subject: "Umm, no thanks."
- You: "You should get a little lawn mower man tattoo."
- Subject: "Ok, look I don't really like tattoos, let alone lawn mowers."
- You: "You should get a little lawn mower man tattoo."
- Subject: "No, I tried to get one before and found out I am allergic to the ink."
- You: "You should get a little lawn mower man tattoo."
- Subject: "No! Leave me alone. I want a divorce."
- You: "You should get a little lawn mower man tattoo."
- Strategic Compromise - Find a middle ground
- You: "You should get a little lawn mower man tattoo."
- Subject: "Umm, no thanks."
- You: "Well how about a full body tat of a snake wrapped around a knife."
- Subject: "No way."
- You: "Ok, fine, it's clear we're not going to agree on the snake/knife tattoo, lets compromise on a little lawn mower man tattoo."
- Subject: "Urrrrr, Ok."
- Being Tall - Nothing work better than being taller than the person you are trying to convince. Lets look at two examples:
- You: "You should get a little lawn mower man tattoo."
- Subject: "No, get away from."
Example 1: You 173cm, Subject 189cm - You: "You should get a little lawn mower man tattoo."
- Subject: "Umm, Ok."
Example 2: You 207cm, Subject 184cm - Big Words - Big complicated words will baffle you opponents and convince them that you are smarter and must be right:
- You: "You ought to acquire a diminutive turf reduction contrivance pushed by a homosapien enduring epidermis illustration."
- Subject: "Ok."
- Adding whispered caveats - just like the big fancy bank contracts add your own small print in:
- You: "Do you want a dollar and you must get a little lawn mower man tattoo."
- Subject: "Great sure."
- Forgetfulness - you have to see this one in action to believe how powerful it is:
- You: "You should get a little lawn mower man tattoo."
- Subject: "Nah, that wouldn't look any good."
- You: "That's just my point though, don't you agree."
- Subject: "What, of course I agree, I just said it."
- You: "So it's agreed, You will get a little lawn mower man tattoo."
- Subject: "YES! That's what I said."
- You: "You should get a little lawn mower man tattoo."
- Biting - The power of the bite lies in it's classic charm:
- You: "You should get a little lawn mower man tattoo."
- Subject: "No thanks."
- You: [bite]
- Subject: "Ow, what was that for."
- You: "You should get a little lawn mower man tattoo." [bite]
- Subject: "Oww, I don't want one."
- You: [bite][bite][bite]
- Subject: "Owwwwww, Ok I'll get one.
- Lies - the art of introducing subtle lies into your argument:
- You: "You should get a little lawn mower man tattoo."
- Subject: "No thanks."
- You: "I heard that people that don't get one are ugly and stupid."
- Subject: "I don't know about that, that doesn't sound right."
- You: "Ahhh, that's because you don't have one yet and are still stupid."
- Subject: "Ok then."
- Abuse - Nothing make people fold faster than mental and physical abuse:
- You: "Hey $%#*@, You should get a *#($#@! little lawn mower man tattoo." [smash in the foot then face]
- Subject: "Ahhhhhhhhhh, Ok just stop hitting me"
Now enjoy your new tatto!